It was Mother’s Day 2010 and my husband Scott and l were renovating our new house. Hmm no period… Surely not…. First month of trying…. No way. Well YES way! The pregnancy test was positive. I still remember that moment in time running down the back yard with the pregnancy test to show Scott. I’m not even sure if l had any pants on! Anyways the joy, excitement and anxiety l felt at the same time was overwhelming. This is what l always wanted & my dream to become a mother had come true.
Fast forward two weeks. Hmm a small amount of blood loss that morning sent my anxiety skyrocketing. Trying not to worry too much as l was at work, l got through the day but when l got home the bleeding worsened. My worst fears were coming true. I was losing my baby. Being a practicing midwife at the time l struggled between my professional knowledge and personal experience. Ok l was only 6 weeks, only early in pregnancy. Best it happen now than later on. My heart at the same time was aching for the baby l had longed for. It didn’t matter at what stage l was, all of my hopes and dreams of motherhood were being crushed.